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I used to be pretty darn shy.
Serious… If we were to zoom back in time, before I hitchhiked the USA, before I directed a wilderness school in Virginia, you would find a shy, unconfident, and really insecure dude.
I challenge you to share your shy tales in the comments… no way you can top mine.
Check this out:
In the fourth grade at recess, the hottest girl in my class asked me to “go with her,” but I refused, even though I really wanted to (although I’m not sure where we would have went… except maybe to the kissing tree behind the swing set ).
In high school, I hated pep rallies. I would get anxious about where to sit in the crowded gymnasium. I didn’t want to sit with the dorks… but I also didn’t want to sit with the cool kids… because then I would have to talk to them. So I would try to sit right next to the cool kids and absorb their coolness without actually having to say anything.
Even when I first started traveling, I missed out on so many killer experiences because of my shyness. I spent my first solo trip to the Netherlands by myself the entire time, even though I’d dreamed of rocking it out with travelers from around the globe. Other travelers would even ask me to hang out with them, but I was too damn shy to take them up on the offer.
I really regretted it too, because I always felt like I was missing out on cool experiences. I felt like my life was passing me by and I had no idea what to do about it.
Deep inside myself… I wanted to talk to everyone!
I wanted to be the life of the mother fucking party!!!
I wanted to just relax and LAUGH MY HEAD fell off wherever I felt like it. I wanted to go up to the hottest girls and spit some MAD GAME on them. I wanted to dance the FREAKY ZEAKY EAKY at parties (my own special dance moves) and not give a shit what anyone thought.
I really lived in an almost constant state of anxiety and I wasn’t sure if it would ever change.
Have you felt this way?
Have you felt anxious about going to parties that you would even bail on them sometimes?
Have you avoided approaching people, because you were scared of looking stupid?
Hopefully your shyness isn’t as bad as mine was, but if it does bother you, don’t worry… there is hope.
Yo! You don’t have to be shy forever.
I am the life of the party now… if I want to be.
Those hot girls that use to make me take a hot dump on myself… don’t bother me a bit now.
I can talk to anyone and I love it.
How did I do it and how can you do it?
It was a long road to get here with a lot of daily steps. I faced this fear as much as I possibly could. Part of the reason I chose to hitchhike was so I could continue to practice talking to anyone.
But one idea has helped more than any other. This mantra keeps shyness away, when he tries to creep back up on me. I can’t quite recall, where or when I realized this idea, but I’m really happy I did.
Here is the powerful idea that helped me break out of being shy and into being a socializer…
No one really cares much about what I say or do.
BAM!!! ZINGGG!!! WHOOPPPPP!!!! DEEADLLERR!!!
(IINNSSERTT YOUR MADE UP WORDS HERE TOO!)
No one gives a fat, flying fuck what shirt I wear to the party, how I decide to do my hair, and they sure aren’t analyzing everything I say.
Most people are thinking about me as little as they possibly can, because they are more concerned with something that is much more important to them.
Most people overanalyze, fret, worry, and constantly think about one thing…. Are you ready for it?
Most people think constantly about themselves!
ZEEEPPPP!!!! ZAAANNNGGGG!!!! ZZZIIIDDDDIIILLLLYYYYY!!!!
Most people are worried about what they said, or what they should say, or what they didn’t say, or who they should talk to.
Most people are wondering if they should have worn their green shoes or maybe not parted their hair to the left.
Most people are obsessing about themselves, so feel free to do whatever you want.
When I was researching for this post, I asked some of my high school friends to write a couple sentences about how shy I was… but you know what…? While some had some stories about me being shy… others didn’t even really notice.
“I remember how long it took him to to ask a certain girl out on a date. It took a group a guys forever to talk him into it. It shouldn’t have been hard since we were all best friends and could tell anything to any of them, and we did.
That sticks out to me… lol. Guess it means more coming from a guy who was also shy…” – Patrick
“So anyway, since you were supposedly my boyfriend I decided I better call you on the phone. That was the most awkward 20 minute conversation ever. Well it wasn’t even a conversation. I asked you a couple of questions and I think you answered with dead silence. I finally made up an excuse about having to help my brother on the computer so I could hang up. Good times!” -Amorena
Tell your shyness to go take the bus to Baton Rouge and let your awesomeness take over!
Want to get over your shyness FOREVER?
I want to help you talk to anyone, so join me now.
I’m opening up a Social Confidence coaching program and maybe an E-course SOON.
In these programs, we’ll talk about the EXACT STEPS you can take to talk to anyone. Not super hard stuff either, but simple steps that almost anyone can do.
We’ll focus on keeping you inspired, taking daily actions, and you’ll have my full support the entire way.
You don’t have to be shy, if you don’t want to be.
Before I open the paid program up to everyone here, I’m inviting you to apply for one of 5 openings to try it out for FREE. Yeah… like ZERO DOLLARS!!!
We’ll either chat on Skype, the phone, or exchange emails. We’ll handle those FEARS, set up ACTIONS to take, and I’ll be there to INSPIRE you and navigate any CHALLENGES that pop up.
It’ll be FUN too… I promise .
If you want in, here is what you must do:
1. Comment on this post or send me an email (Benjamin(at)AdventureSauce(dot)com) telling me a specific situation where you were shy recently. Simple, right?
How did you feel? What were you worried about? What happened? Did anyone say something mean?
2. Then, describe how you want to be. How would you act, if you weren’t shy? What is your ideal self like? What areas of you life do you want to be confident in? What situations do you want to be ‘the life of the party’ in?
If you are interested, respond now. I’ve got over 3,000 subscribers through email, Facebook, Twitter, and Youtube and I can only accept 5 people… they’ll go fast.
I completely believe you can get over shyness and I’d love to help you. I can’t wait to talk more.
Rock the world, Benjamin
Ps. Share this with your pals too.